Author Archives: neweroti

The ultimate adult industry meet… Invite only I’m afraid…

The XBIZ Retreat is on folks and if you’re at all serious about the porn industry then you’ll want to be a part of it.  Taking place in LA you will be able to mix with the biggest and the best of the adult industry, attend exclusive dinners, tell people about what you do and network your tiny little ass off (or of course if you’re an American, you’re big fat ass!)

For more details on the event of the year from XBIZ visit the site…

The Perpetual Struggle of the Copywriter

A lovely article on The Drum explains how we copywriters are continually plagued by what others expect us to be able to do.  Andrew Boulton beautifully explains how once we are tasked to get people who visit websites to “convert” our art is indeed dulled to a point in which we are no longer making a difference, or making provoking thought; we are indeed just a sales tool… Such is our life!

Read Andrew Boulton’s article in its entirety…

Electronic erotic – Is it getting into schools?

On there is a report about a woman alleging her child read erotica at school on their iPads.   If indeed this is true, just how did it happen?  Shouldn’t there be tighter controls on access in schools when it comes to material like this?  And in any case, what constitutes “good” literature anyway?  Should children become aware of what lies ahead on the internet and just how much fiction the fiction really is?  Let us educate…

Read more about it at

Old timer writes debut erotic fiction…

It appears that it’s never too late to shock people, particularly the ones you love.  Today The Irish Examiner reveals that In the USA a woman in her 80’s has just published her first erotic novel and it has totally shocked her family.  Perhaps learning about your parents and their sexual preferences isn’t what everyone calls good fun…

Learn more by reading the Irish Examiner

A call for strong female protagonists in erotica

The Huffington Post asks about female characters in dirty fiction, asking where all the good female protagonists are.  Well, in my opinion it depends entirely on what you class as a strong female character.  The Fifty Shades of Grey series features a strong male lead character, so perhaps it’s time to put out a call to all those authors of erotica to ask for something different.  Get your pens ready guys…

Read more about what The Huffington posts has to say…

Hire a professional SEO team

If you’re going to hire an SEO team rather than do your website and the promotion yourself, then for goodness sake hire a professional one; preferably one that works within the adult industry and has a degree of experience.

There is nothing worse than trawling the internet for a web services team only to find that the majority of them don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to adult orientated or pornographic web content, or they simply don’t want to touch it.

Escort agency web services

I’ve recently been hired as content consultant for LP Web Services, a relatively new company formed by a set of individuals with extensive knowledge of the adult industry, in particular the escort industry.  Our team has experts from advertising, web development, SEO marketing and escort directories and review sites.  We have extensive contacts and influence in the adult sector and are happy to meet with any new clients to discuss their requirements.

Website Audit

At LP Web Services much of the action we can take to improve your website’s performance is based on an initial website audit.  This will tell us exactly where we need to pay particular attention before we simply go in and try to fix everything.  You will be given detailed reports about how your site is performing and you will be able to review your websites progress at regular intervals.  Many of you will have access to Google tools to do this sort of thing anyway we’re sure, but not many really know the potential of these tools and what you should and shouldn’t be paying particular attention to.  Our Analytics Consultant is able to go through these with you in order for you to achieve the best results from your website.  Half of the battle is understanding just where exactly you can improve your site’s performance; rectifying it is sometimes very easy.

If you’d like some more information feel free to contact me.

What Place Does Erotic Literature Have in Popular Culture? And is it in fact Literature?

I have an enormous problem with erotic literature being marginalised and considered as: taboo, seedy, filthy, dirty, porno and all other similar titles that anyone with no appreciation for literature sees fit to name it…

How do we define literature anyway?

Literature has been elevated to a level beyond the average persons understanding due to pretentious people, most of them literary critics!  My Dictionary of Literary Terms and Literary Theory by J. A. Cuddon offers the following as a definition:-

Literature:  A vague term which usually denotes works which belong to the major genres: epic, drama, lyric, novel, short story, ode (qq.v).  If we describe something as ‘literature’, as opposed to anything else, the term carries with it qualitative connotations which imply that the work in question has superior qualities; that it is well above the ordinary run of written works.  For example: ‘George Eliot’s novels are literature, whereas Fleming’s Bond books are unquestionably not.’

It’s from this we must escape.  A good writer of erotic fiction is no less talented because he/she has failed to write an epic poem similar in scale to Wordsworth’s “The Prelude”.  Mass produced crime novels are often more popular than the classics, as are erotic novels and short story collections.  We should consider what Cuddon goes on to explain under his definition of this elusive word ‘literature’:-

…there are many works that cannot be classified in the main literary genres which nevertheless may be regarded as literature by virtue of the excellence of their writing, their originality and their general aesthetic and artistic merits.

I have seen many erotic novels and short stories that share all of the above.  And if artistic merit is what creates a piece of literature then we must not forget the Russian formalist Victor Shklovsky’s definition of art.

Victor Shklovsky

According to Shklovsky, art is a way of experiencing the artfulness of an object; the object itself becomes unimportant.  The art exists in the creation of the object.  Any piece of literature has been constructed in a particular way in order to achieve a desired result.  Shklovsky’s argument turns upon a distinction between “automatized” and aesthetic forms of perception.  “If we start to examine the general laws of perception,” he writes, “we see that as perception becomes habitual, it becomes automatic.

So essentially, art exists in order to disrupt our habitual perception.  This is certainly the case in many erotic novels, novellas, and short stories.  Any good piece of erotic fiction has been designed and constructed quite carefully with a precise purpose in mind.  If this is indeed the case then they certainly do disrupt habitual perception, purely due to their fantasy element.  Every scene or chapter in an erotic piece of literature is a perception and it is almost always likely to differ to your own as a reader; this is where much of the pleasure is derived.  The reader is invited into another way of seeing the world or another person’s fantasy.

Media Representation.

I understand that erotic literature should have an appropriate place in popular culture and that children in particular should be protected from exposure to it at an early age.  But disregarding that for a moment, I would like to ask why our national newspapers, with all their time consuming, Sunday rubbish supplements about fashion and food, will only review the latest blockbuster or arty farty movie, and the current bestseller by Jeffrey Archer?  Have we become that pretentious?  Surely this is censorship?

Are we forgetting that Jeffrey Archer is a bloody criminal?  There is a quote on his website that says: “The Best Cult Blog” – The Sunday Times.  So The Sunday Times will back this crook and review all the other latest and greatest novelists, yet they won’t touch erotic fiction writers with a barge pole!  Is this fair?  Should they not be represented a little more in popular culture?

What makes the erotic novelist and short story writer different from these “successful” novelists is the content of their work; that is all.  This is in much the same way as a cook book differs from a book on astrology.  But what we must understand is that what makes the “best selling” novelist and short story writer successful is not necessarily their talent to write; it is often much more to do with their exposure and general critical attention.  Which brings me onto the ideal writer in the eyes of the media; with this writer they get their erotic fix as well as their classic story.

Sarah Waters

I am a great fan of Sarah Waters novels, and the only reason I mention her here is because she seems to be the bridge between these two worlds: what is perceived as ‘literature’ and what is deemed as filth and pornography.  Waters manages to blend the two together excellently.  Her sex scenes are only just short of some of the graphic language found in the average erotic novel; they are beautifully stitched into the rest of her carefully crafted novels.

Waters’ Victorian pastiche novels about dildo wielding lesbians are a refreshing change to the usual best seller list, yet she has been nominated for several, well deserved, prestigious literary awards and she is a very well respected author.  The average erotic fiction novelist is barely granted any respect at all for their craft, simply because of the volume of gratuitous sex and fetish elements.  Many erotic writers do not pretend to be in the same league as someone such as Sarah Waters and they do not want the same credit for their craft, that’s not the point at all.  Waters produces very different fiction indeed and the construction of her novels is something to be marvelled, but she is not condemned and shoved into a barely represented, tiny corner of the bookshop for her graphic sexual content.


People like to think they are being intelligent by commenting on those “successful” writers.  They talk about narratology and literary theory at parties and in their English journals and newspapers as though it really matters to the average reader.  I studied literature and theory for many years and I find my knowledge pretty much wanting something extra when it comes to erotica.  Is this why we don’t represent and review it in mainstream popular culture?  Because we are unable, or too prudish and pretentious to write about the very thing that keeps us in existence?

Readers of literary erotica continue to stick to websites that deal with erotic literature to get reviews and unfortunately these can often be bias, particularly if the website is selling the books they review.  And if that wasn’t enough, when the erotic literature fan actually wants to buy a novel in store, they find them tucked away in the darkest, most inconspicuous corner of the place.  They are forced to reach up high for one, through the laser alarms that signal the shop assistant and all the other disgusted shoppers that there is a pervert in the store and they should beware.

So what do we do?  Well, the people who are deemed capable to comment “intelligently” on the bestsellers are completely unable to comment on erotic literature, simply because it’s a genre that defies too much analysis due its very narrative construction.  Yes, there may be better characters in one and not in another, but at the end of the day these novels and stories are written to sexually excite, not become the next “bright book of life”, as D. H. Lawrence would have it.  In fact if I know my D. H. Lawrence at all, I’d say he would welcome today’s literary erotica!

The media should embrace erotica for what it is.  They need to get some real people to review books for a change and include some erotica.  Reviews should be focused on majority opinion and not the words of some over educated “literary” type, or pretentious celebrity that deems themselves capable of doing it.  Wouldn’t it be great to read a review in one of these dreadful Sunday supplements that went something like this?

“Yes, it kept me hard for around 40 minutes in the first sitting.  Damn good read!”

Does impersonal sex lead to sex addiction?

John Gray's best seller

John Gray’s best seller

Of course not, but we were intrigued to read about John Gray’s take on it on The Business World’s Weekender section…

According to Gray – author of bestseller Men are from Mars Women are from Venus – who claims to have saved countless marriages with his book, free internet porn is “like taking heroin.”   He also takes issue with adult dating sites, where they encourage people to meet other singles or cheating partners to get together solely for sexual purposes.  He claims that:

“…impersonal sex does promote addiction to sex…”

So what’s the problem with this anyway?  We no longer live in an age where you have to be married to someone, or even love them to enjoy sex.  We have evolved into something a little more special in our opinion.  As for Gray’s concerns about us all becoming hopeless sex addicts and that internet “adult” dating sites etc don’t allow us to get close to each other anymore, well they’re just ridiculous.  If anything, this free access to online pornography and the abundance of hook up sites out there has made us demand more from our relationships so that eventually as we further evolve, we will at last have in our partners (if we’re lucky enough to find one) someone we actually really want!

Worried about Feminism

However, what concerns us more about Gray’s comments in the article is that they seem a little misogynistic to say the least.  He really does seem to have a problem with women.  You wouldn’t think that someone who has allegedly helped fix countless marriages would actually think that Feminism has gone “too far.”  Perhaps his book about how different men and women are has marred his judgement somewhat, we’re not entirely sure, but when you say things like this there is bound to be a little criticism:

“The reason why there’s so much divorce is that feminism promotes independence in women.”

Arguably the reason there is so much divorce is because there are men like him left on the planet!  We think that Gray’s desire to sell books over the years may have led to his obsession with men and women being different.  There’s no doubting that the two species are different, but the whole point of feminism isn’t to claim men and women are the same John, it’s to claim that men and women are equal.

Believe us when we tell you that, along with their pursuit of equality, women are also enjoying the freedoms associated with online porn and adult dating.  The only problems that now exist are people who live in the past like John Gray and those who would censor our access to these kinds of online services.

Have your say on the matter and leave us a comment…

Descriptions for adult products

Product descriptions for the adult industry…

What kind of products can you think of in the adult industry?  There really are plenty to choose from of course, but arguably the most popular would be those available from online sex shops: toys, dvds, lingerie etc…

If you own a website that sells products you are probably more than well aware that you’ll be required to write product descriptions.  However, this isn’t something the average adult webmaster likes to spend any time doing at all.  It’s a real shame, because it can make all the difference.  I’d like to tell you how you can improve your website’s rank and appearance by getting the copy-writing correct.

Adult copywriting

Dildo descriptions can be lots of fun

What Google are looking for when it comes to written content

Google are looking for good quality writing that is not riddled with keywords and phrases when they’re not required.  Obviously the word “dildo” is going to appear in the text of your site a lot if you sell sex toys, but this is fine and Google are not stupid by any means.  You should however refrain from mentioning it all the time.  In a product description for a dildo you only really need to mention once and then concentrate on the other features etc.

Adult copywriting

You also need to make your content relevant and thematic, with appropriate links to other products and/or websites.  This will encourage the search engines to see that you are indeed an authority on the subjects you are writing about.  It really does make all the difference.

On top of all that, the more text you have on your site (in the right places of course), the more chance you will have of being picked up in organic searches by Google etc.

Articles and blogs

To go alongside your product descriptions, it’s always a good idea to have a regular source of articles and blogs etc.  These can talk about your products, new products and news relating to your website, it’s themes and anything else that pertains to what you sell.  Again linking to other sites for information and to your social networks etc will all impress Google too.


Along with all this manipulation of search engines etc, the main idea of having a website is to make it appealing to your visitors.  You want them to stay on a page to read it, you want them to enjoy it, and essentially you want them to buy something.  It’s not hard to engage your visitors, you just need good copy, good images and overall a good website!

If you’d like to employ the services of an expert in adult writing, which includes product descriptions, articles, blogs and stories etc, simply drop me an email and I’ll see what I can do to help.

Porn writing isn’t so hard… (no pun intended)

If you’re going to write porn, whether it’s for an adult website or for your own pleasure, it’s really not that difficult…

Think about what gets you going.  That’s the first step.  This works if you’re writing for a website too, especially if it’s your own, since you wouldn’t own a website you didn’t enjoy would you?

Don’t force it to come.  You should try and write something, but don’t expect it to be a page and half straight away.  Remember that if you have a site that people are actually going to enjoy reading, you have to enjoy writing it.  As long as you have written something you can add to it at a later date.  This could just be an introduction to something you want to write.  There really is nothing like walking away from your work, thinking about it, and then returning later on or the next day.

Porn writing

Porn writing is not all about hardcore porn scenes.  You need to remember this.  It’s still okay to develop characters and have a little story in your work, even if you are just writing a blog post or a description of something.  For example, if you want to write a hardcore sex scene, think about the people who will be involved in the scene and imagine what type of people they are before you start describing how they look and what positions they’re going to be screwing in.

In the end it’s not D. H. Lawrence is it?  That kind of stuff died out a long time ago and is now reserved for Mills and Boon!  Having sex is no longer compared to ploughing a field or plucking a sweet flower from a valley, it’s more about people.  But then perhaps that’s just my opinion!

Good luck… Remember that you can get in touch with me whenever you want.  Advice is always free!